Fishing With Birds by E. C. Patterson

Act I: Journeys

Scene 1

(Scene: The stage is dark. Lights up slowly to reveal Pao Ch’in sitting at a desk. There are papers all around. He is working. He stops after a while. He is motionless - then after a while, he holds his chest, then collapses on the desk.)

Enter Xin Ch’u, the Chief Clerk of the Su-chou Ya-men

(Xin Ch’u examines the lifeless body to confirm the death.)

XIN

Dead. What a bother this is - another one dead. But at least this one has not left a posterity to complicate things.

(Xin Ch’u rustles about the desk looking for things to steal. He finds an ink block and some brushes).

(He see a ring on Pao Ch’in’s finger. Pause as he looks to see if anyone is looking. He then removes a ring from Pao Ch’in’s hand and holds it to the light.)

Brilliant. More brilliant than you were, Pao Ch’in. Indeed, this is reward for my diligence and hard work. This is a good find indeed. I had forgotten that you had this and when I look at it in a better light and on a better finger, I will not think of you Pao Ch’in. I don’t think anyone will ever think of you Pao Ch’in.

(Enter Mao Fei. Xin Ch’u quickly hides the ring in his robes.)

MAO

Xin Ch’u, is there anything amiss?

XIN

(to Mao) Nothing is amiss, Mao Fei -

(indicating Pao Ch’in’s lifeless body)

Pao Ch’in is dead, that’s all!

MAO

The superintendent is dead?

XIN

Dead!

MAO

This is most inconvenient - most inconvenient, indeed! But are you sure?

XIN

Most assuredly, Pao Ch’in is dead.

(Lights out.)

(Immediately a spot reveals K’u Ko-ling (the elder), who is the Narrator of this piece. He is dressed in a rich brocaded robe - despite the fact that he is a servant. His speech, unlike the 2 clerks - is not refined and anything but formal)

NARR

Pao Ch’in is dead!! Or I should say was dead. (thoughtfully) O! That would mean he is alive - but he is dead, I can most assuredly state that case. Pao Ch’in died - and that is a good thing for this story, for without his death, my master would not have taken his place as the Superintendent of Su-chou. Timing is everything! With death comes vacancies - and as my master, the revered (bows) scholar Li K’ai-men, had just passed the regional examinations for office with the highest possible grade, he was marked to receive an immediate posting to a position sufficiently grand for such an achievement. So Pao Ch’in’s end became Li K’ai-men’s beginning.

I was but a pup then - attending my master as he took the exams. What did I know? I, K’u Ko-ling, son of K’u Fei, a lowly son of the soil from Gui-lin. All I knew was what my master taught me - to mix the ink, to prepare the brushes, to boil the soup, to pay the whoremistress, and . . . (laughing) and I loved to spy on that . . ho, ho. And I could tell you more, but maybe a little later. Little did I know how much I would learn in service to a great scholar and a man of high governmental rank.

Yes, yes - my master, Li K’ai-men was to be to the superintendant of Su-chou. What a position - to rule over so important a district. Generally a first appointment would be some shit-hole in An-hui or a cold, ball-chilling hut on the Yen border. But not for my master. He drew the bastard plum - Su-chou!!! And I think that Pao Ch’in’s death was for the best. I didn’t know the man - nor would he have known me; but I feel so intimately grateful for the man for passing on to his ancestors that I well up with joy when I think of his life - long and healthy - fat and greasy - sated and mated until the end. For never was there such a well-deserved and well-timed death as his.

All in our hometown, Gui-lin, heard of my master’s success; and soon the lowliest merchant spoke of it. There was rejoicing at the Academy and every tenant in the valley cheered his health. It was not every day that a Gui-lin son achieved first place in the exams. Indeed not! There were some scholars who came in fifth or sixth - but indeed, not first. Such was the accomplishment of my master, Li K’ai-men. And we were now to travel to Chiang-nan province, to the city of Yang-chou, where my master would meet his overlord, the Governor of Chiang-nan. Ah yes! An important step. Soon, the citizens of Yang-chou also knew of Li K’ai-men’s achievements and toasted his health.

But in Su-chou, my master left no impression at all. They didn’t even know his name. No one even bothered to tell the people that Pao Ch’in was dead. The clerks who found his body shipped what remained up river to his hometown. Pao Ch’in left no mark on the city of Su-chou - nor had the previous five superintendents. They come and go, like the tide on Lake T’ai - only without a ripple. Superintendents were not really that important. The clerks ran the world.

Scene 2

(Su-chou Ya-men: center stage is a table stacked with paper. Xin Ch’u is reading a letter to himself and laughing)

(enter Mao Fei)

XIN

Ah! Mao Fei. I have a letter from K’ang Yu-wei.

MAO

Yes, yes and what does the governor say? What are the orders?

XIN

They are sending us a boy!

MAO

A boy? Not an old man this time, or a sleepy painter? Remember that boring fart they sent here . . .

XIN

During the ching-t’ien years. I recall, that was P’ing Hu. He did paint well, not that I could care. Do you remember that scholar . . . what’s his name, Chao Pei-yen, who P’ing Hu hired to clean the brushes and mix the inks? I could never understand with all the clerks worthy to assume such a role why P’ing Hu hired him.

MAO

That was a haughty little pest. I remember once I told him we were assembled to discuss the cases of the day and to tell P’ing Hu we were attending him. The little man actually told me that P’ing could not be disturbed until the bamboo was brushed and the plum blossoms were stroked. When I told him to announce me, he said he would not and threatened to paint my nose green. And when I complained, P’ing Hu just looked at me as if I were mad.

XIN

Well at least Pao Ch’in just collected things. He was a lousy painter. He once stroked a cat to silk and it looked more like a mangy jackass. No he just collected things.

MAO

And might I mention, all is inventoried for your inspection.

(hands Xin a list)

I assumed you wanted me to list all the items for the usual rewards to Pao Ch’in’s most faithful stewards and advisors.

XIN

(takes the list and briefly reads it, putting it aside)

It’s odd how these officials spend their entire lives striving for learning, preparing for examinations, making long journeys to sit for days in cramped quarters and write essay after essay like slaves - to achieve the smallest crumb from His Majesty’s larder. Yet, we are the caretakers and inherit their crumbs - and all that it is, is reading and writing . . .

MAO

And good judgment and management. I work very hard for my little gains, you know. You are very unfair to suggest that what I do is easy and over-rewarded.

XIN

Calm yourself, Mao Fei. You are invaluable to me and the running of this Ya-men - and you shall get your share. But now, they send us a boy!

MAO

A boy! We will need to work harder.

XIN

Not harder. He will need our guidance and advice - but he is inexperienced and only knows what he’s learned in the academy and from the classics. And he is not quite a boy, but a first appointment. It says here, he has won first place in the Regional Examination at Chang-sha.

MAO

That means he can read and write . . .

XIN

And paint, like the rest of them; however, he must do it extremely well.

(They laugh)

NARR

Haughty clerks to dare laugh at my master. These fat men laugh at their own wit and will be shaken by their own wit.

XIN

Nevertheless, Mao Fei, we must accord the Imperial will some respect. His name is Li K’ai-men. He is from Gui-lin.

MAO

Gui-lin? Is any one ever from Gui-lin?

XIN

Save your humor for your wife. There is much to do, and it is a good thing we know how to do it. Inform the others of the new superintendent’s arrival. Have his name posted in the town. Send the postern to the village elders so they can tell the Pao-t’ien. And let’s give the gardens a sweep. It says he will have his wife here and the Willow Pavilion is a bit of a mess.

MAO

A wife? Some boy this - a married man.

XIN

You know how it is with these young scholars. They marry quickly before they leave for the examinations. I am sure they have had a brief time of it. And that they have been separated while he was taking the examination - he in Ch’ang-sha - she in Gui-lin, he will be quite content to enjoy his married life and leave the business of government to us.

(Mao starts to leave)

XIN

Oh, Mao Fei . . . also empty Pao Ch’in’s wine larder - I’ll adjust the accounts. I am sure a boy will have no need of wine! And the Willow Pavilion, do not do anything too extraordinary, mind you. Just a pleasant token to our new superintendent that we care here in the Su-chou Ya-men. I’ll write to the Governor and tell him we have restored the famous garden to its former glory. That will please him well, I think.

(exit Mao. Xin Ch’u looks to the Governor’s letter)

That will please K’ang Yu-wei well. Anything to do with the Willow Pavilion pleases the governor. I know how this is done.

(he reviews the inventory list and sits)

Pao Ch’in certainly amassed a great number of things. I must say, there’s plenty here to go around and keep those loyal to me in place. So, Governor, send me this wet-nosed boy. Let’s see if he can paint as well as P’ing Hu or write essay a great as Mao T’ing-po or drink as hard as Chuang Tu-yin. I don’t think he could collect things as well as Pao Ch’in - but who can tell. They are all like guests here. We make them look good, make them comfortable and do it all for them - then they leave us. It’s like theater - but I am the caretaker of this place. So bring him on! Bring him on!

(lights out).

(spot on the Narrator)

NARR

But my master had other things on his mind. I remember it well. We traveled for five weeks from Ch’ang-sha to the regional capital at Yang-chou, where my master was to meet his superior, the Governor of Chiang-nan and be confirmed in the post. I had become a real crafty person by then - handling all sorts of arrangements - boats, trackers, food, clothing, local officials and elders - they all crumbled under my superior management of my master’s establishment. I could, and still can get a starving man to sell me a flea off his ass in a famine for something copper that would be his death. I am that good at it.

And my parley, bargaining and footwork got us to the gates of Yang-chou in a month and three days to see the great K’ang Yu-wei - governor of all Chiang-nan proviince.

(lights up)

Scene 3:

(Yang-chou - The Governor's Palace. A room with rich hangings - at its center is the Governor’s seat. Near the seat is a writing desk, a vermilion pot and chops or official seals.)

(K’ang Yu-wei is standing near the seat. An attendant enters and hands him some papers and awaits orders. K’ang reads - then sends the attendant away.)

(enter Li K’ai-men. He is hesitant and walks slowly to center stage, where he kneels before the Governor, who continues to read)

YU-WEI

So, you are Li K’ai-men?

LI

Yes, my lord.

YU-WEI

Most impressive scores on the exams. Most impressive indeed. Your teacher has taught you well. But I have learned that the mark of a true scholar is not what he parrots from his tutors, but how he parrots away from his tutors. Oddly enough, I think in this case, you are too demure to be one of Han Lin’s students. Stand so I can better see you.

(Li K’ai-men stands - and K’ang Yu-wei inspects him)

So young and refined. Are you ready to govern a city of 35,000 households and 95 districts? Are you that resourceful?

LI

I am, my lord.

YU-WEI

And how do you know? How has fortune lifted her hands and touched your noodle to say, "this is the very man for the job." How? You have written pretty prose and I am sure you turn out fine poetry. But, how will that help you cope?

LI

(bowing)

The discipline of the eight-legged essay is a form, which captures all moths to its light. It taps the wisdom of the classics, which teaches us how to rule and govern. It breathes free over the written word, each stroke drawing on precedent and making precedent - and thereby we are never really beginning or ending - but part of the everlasting chain. And in the rituals . . .

YU-WEI

Parrot of your tutor! But when you get to Su-chou - and the daily decisions and responsibilities are your’s and your’s alone - you must sharpen your beak on your own cuttle-fish.

(Li bows)

Has your wife begun her journey?

(pause)

Has she?

LI

My lord, if she followed my bidding, she shall be in Su-chou by the time I arrive.

YU-WEI

Good! It will be good to have a lady in the Ya-men at Su-chou once again. I so dislike not having a lady in the loveliest of our gardens. You know, a garden without a women is a lotus shorn of petals. Pao Ch’in was a good man, but he should have taken another wife or two instead of closing the Willow Pavilion. I have been informed by the Chief Scribe, some minion named Xin Ch’u, that the Willow Pavilion has been reopened and restored. Yes, it will be good to have a lady once again in Su-chou. And once you’re settled in, in a year or two, I shall come ‘round and visit you, eh? What do you think of that?

LI

As your lord pleases.

YU-WEI

As your lord pleases? What’s this stiff formality? Do you know who I am?

LI

You are K’ang Yu-wei, Governor of Chiang-nan, Master of the Imperial Antiquary and Superintendent- General of Yang-chou. Your teacher was Ou Yang-xu.

YU-WEI

You know me well; but, know this. I have escaped from the jaws of death itself and know the kindness of His Majesty, may he live ten thousand years. I have also seen scholars come and go. If you are up to it young pup, you will administer your assignment well; but remember who I am and what I can do! Have you any questions?

LI

None

YU-WEI

You know I am a close friend to your teacher, Han Lin.

LI

Yes, my lord.

YU-WEI

And how was your teacher when you last saw him?

LI

Well, my lord.

(pause)

Very well, in good health.

YU-WEI

You certainly don’t display any of his pluck! Yet, somehow you cannot survive Han Lin and come out first in the exams and be void of pluck! I am glad you are showing me the deference due me - but when I come to visit you, I want some pluck - and better tales about my old friend Han Lin.

(K’ang stamps the papers with a very large chop-seal. He then flops the Blue cap of rank on Li head, fairly uncermoniosly.)

Now, you are confirmed in you post.

Respect these words! (hands him the paper).

Now, I trust your manservant has made arrangements for your portage to Su-chou.

LI

He has.

NARR

I had.

YU-WEI

Good - and as a gift, you will have a procession of drummers to herald your approach.

LI

Thank you my lord.

YU-WEI

I am afraid the heat is rather terrific and you might find it unbearable in the plains. But be careful what you drink and be sure you stay clear of uncook meats in this weather. Do not directly enter Su-chou. There will be tents set-up for you outside the city walls. This Scribe, Xin Ch’u, will escort you in.

And I have another little token for you.

(K’ang Yu-wei unveils a vermilion robe with Phoenix embroidery. Li goes to his knees once again).

Up, master Li! You will be fine in your post - especially when you wear the robe of the vermilion bird; more so, in that you return a woman to the Willow Pavilion and some youth to the ancient walls of Su-chou. Get those drummers going and be on your way.

(exit Li)

Well, master Li, you start out on a noble journey. I recall my own first step - not as big and brave as yours. Just a small district near K’ai-feng. But it was there that I met my third wife; and there was a teahouse mirrored on Lake Pien-fu, when the moon was full and the breeze was musty with jasmine. I would court with the ladies there I would. For a small district, it suited me fine. To be at the start of things would be nice again, instead of thinking about sunsets. (sighs) But I will go to Su-chou to visit that Willow Pavilion and watch over Han Lin’s chick. Ah, it would be nice to be at the start again . . .

NARR

(lights out)

(spot on Narrator) (drum beats start)

And the drums banged out our journey to Su-chou. We walked through the streets of Yang-chou - it was a regular parade. People gathered to see our procession. Attendants held signs to the crowd that "here passes the new Superintendent of Su-chou." All manner of stuff was thrown at us - for luck of course - but all those red paper bits in my hair and a few in my eyes. I was glad when we were out of the city and in the countryside.

And then the fields were vast and unending. It was not long before I wished were back in the city (yawning). Oh yes, the farmers looked up, nodded their greeting and grunted a welcome. The little field brats were more curious and, playing silly games, ran in between the drummers.

And as we entered each place, the town elder greeted us with a bit of refreshment. And it was hot, oh so hot. I cannot remember such heat in my life. And the flies and the creepy-crawlers. They got into everything.

And some villages were burned, as if they we attacked by an army. There was debris all about. Then on the second day we came to the town of Lin-t’ien. The town was flooded. There was nothing left but the wails of women and children. Everywhere there were dead animals and . . . the heat. The very heat boils my blood to think of it. The path was washed away and we detoured from the main road.

That night we stopped at a small village called Chi-lin-t’ien. The elder greeted us and babbled on about something. Unfortunately, the dialect was so thick my master scarcely understood him. Luckily there was a scholar there named Fu Lin-t’o, a young man who we understood very clearly - and came to understand even clearer.

Scene 4:

(Chi-lin-t’ien: The House of the Village Elder. It is nighttime. Li K’ai-men, the Elder, Fu Lin-t’o and K’u Ko-ling are sitting about a low table eating)

FU

Pardon our humble fare, your excellency, but this is a small town and this is the best the village could afford for your arrival. My father is the richest man of the district. But as you can, see we are not very rich indeed.

LI

Rich enough to educate his son as a literary man.

FU

Literate, my lord - not literary.

LI

Nonetheless, you do not need to apologize for the food, even though I am not sure what I have eaten, but I am sure it will not stay with me long.

K’U

Mud and grass! Uh!

NARR

Uh! More like shit and paper!

FU

A local specialty these days. Not much left to us. Not much left.

LI

But the fields around us are luxuriant. Looks like a bumper crop?

FU

Ah, but there’s Ch’ien Mu.

LI

Ch’ien Mu?

FU

Ch’ien Mu the pirate - the brigand - the murderer. His band comes through twice a month and demands most of our stores. If we refuse, he’ll burn the place down - not that he hasn’t beat my father and raped my sister already - and other things I could tell you.

LI

This explains a great deal. We have seen so much distress on our journey. It looked like armies were roving from place to place. And even a flood.

FU

That would be Lin-t’ien. We heard that Ch’ien Mu cut the dike near the river and the town is underwater. I tell you, my lord, Ch’ien Mu has left us all starving and distressed. There’s disease everywhere. The oxen die in the fields.

LI

This is appalling. And what has the authority done to catch him?

FU

Yes, what? You sir are now the authority here. This town is in your district.

LI

Yes, but I am just arriving. What has been done before this?

(Fu shrugs his shoulders)

(Li stands. So do the others)

If my predecessor has done nothing, I must act at once. It is not a good start for me. Not a good start.

(pause)

I should like be alone. All this has put me in a foul mood.

(exit the Elder - K’u Ko-ling retires to a corner. But Fu Lin-t’o remains)

FU

(goes to a cupboard and brings some wine)

Some wine, my lord?

LI

You have wine? You serve us grass and you have wine?

FU

Forgive me, but it’s a scholar’s fancy. When I think of these things and I see the pain in the village - I sit in the corner and muse at the cobwebs - and then only a cup of wine will help kill the pain.

LI

(taking the cup)

So this is the balm you administer to yourself. You don’t count it as victual and therefore would never think to offer it to a visiting official, except to soothe his pain.

FU

Exactly. Come sit once again.

(Li returns to the table)

LI

Well, then, I thank you, Fu Lin-t’o.

(Fu stares at Li as he drinks)

You glare at me - Are you fascinated by my sweat and stench? This weather of yours is most wretched. (drinks)

FU

It is no man’s weather, my lord. This miasma rolls in off the marshes and lies on our chests like a burning coal. When I can’t sleep at night, I often run to the village creek and strip off, jump in and hope that it will cool me.

LI

And does it?

FU

(stands behind Li and begins to message his back)

Never. The creek is as boiling as the air. But sometimes a minnow will scurry by between my legs and tickle me - and that softens the crushing heat a bit. Don’t you think if a minnow were to scurry between your legs, you’d cool down a bit.

LI

Actually, your talk is making me hotter. (laughs)

(Fu caresses Li. Li gives him a kiss)

FU

And you have a wife?

LI

I do. Her name is Mei Lin. She should be at Su-chou by now. How curious you should ask. Does it matter?

(kisses Fu)

FU

It matters not to me. But, more wine, my lord.

LI

You’ll have me drunk.

FU

You’ll have me any way you want.

(they embrace. Lights out. Spot on narrator)

NARR

And my master spoke with this young scholar into the early hours of the morning - then took him to his bed - yes, took this scholar, Fu Lin-t’o to his bed.

(pause)

Oh, you did not know that my master had wide variety in his bedding practices. Many a woman was tickle by his . . . well, I paid the whoremistresses; - and remember, I got to watch (chuckles). But there was a colleague in Gui-lin and a sailor on board our boat as we journeyed to Ch’ang-sha. The boat really rocked that night.

And then there was Min Kuo-lu, a friend my master made at the examinations. They both celebrated after the exams with lots of wine - and had a merry time under their robes, I can grant you that. That was a four-day celebration, and such wonders I witnessed as I kept them both in soup and noodles I could write in a little history - that is, if I could write. But, I have always preferred the women - but then again, I am a piss ant. Nonetheless, this little evening with the local, young scholar, Fu Lin-t’o was different, because in the morning, Fu joined our little procession to Su-chou.

And so it went - day after day - town after town - horrible meal after horrible meal until, finally, on the fourth day of the journey, we reached the gates of Su-chou - and there was a great feast spead out for us.

Scene 5:

(Su-chou - before the city walls - a tent is erected. There is food and drink on a table center stage. The tent flap opens stage right - to an open field. Li K’ai-men, K’u Ko-ling and Fu Lin-t’o are just finished eating. Li is dressed in the vermilion bird robe.)

K’U

Master, this is good food, at last!

LI

K’u, it’s about time you managed it! (K’u looks worried). Ah! Calm yourself. Now if you could only arrange for better weather. This heat is still so unbearable. Fu Lin-t’o, is it always like this?

FU

Worse sometimes - sometimes better. It depends on how much wine you drink. To think we eat snake soup in the winter to heat our blood - but when summer comes, there’s nothing we can spear, boil and muster up to cool the blood. There’s a local recipe for kale jelly, which they say when taken on a spoon will cool you down considerably. But I also hear the stuff is so vile that the wretching makes you hotter still.

LI

How concise! Well at least the food here is an improvement.

FU

I might say that you are dressed a bit unseasonably.

LI

This robe? This was a gift from the Governor. And it was meant to be worn for this ocassion. You see it has the vermilion bird of the South - and K’ang Yu-wei will no doubt ask for a report of my entry - and we mustn’t disappoint.

(laughs)

FU

Amused?

LI

I’ll tell you a secret, dear one. Although, this robe is hot and heavy, I haven’t a stitch on underneath it.

(they both laugh)

FU

It’s doing you no good if the breeze is kept out.

LI

True. Off with it then - and let’s get some air.

(Li removes the robe and is naked)

Come. Take it off Fu - and you also K’u Ko-ling. You have my permission. Let’s go out and seek the air.

(Fu and K’u shed their robes and are also now naked. They all go stage right outside the tent and run about).

NARR

Outside the tent was just as humid. However, I remember, there was just a little refreshing breeze that kissed my crotch and danced about my ass. I felt free to at least enjoy the equality of the moment. But I also remember a nose, burning stench.

LI

(to Fu) What is that smell? Why do fires burn in the city? It’s too hot for a cooked meal today - and I certainly hope this is not some misguided ceremonial on my behalf. It’s not this Ch’ien Mu in Su-chou itself?

FU

Most unlikely, my lord. More likely there is disease in the city and they are burning their dead -

LI

Oh nature help us, such a crime against heaven -

FU

But, whether correct or not, it somehow helps control it. And although they do not go to their ancestors intact, their spirits are free to roam the earth ---

LI

And seek revenge! Right now that revenge is this stench.

(K’u Ko-ling begins to choke).

It is death you choke on, Ko-ling! Sad souls, going to the Jade Emperor in pieces.

NARR

Give me the air of Gui-lin - the fresh mountain breezes and the smell of the cooking chili pots. Give me the willowy pine and the blue-bird - and the swell, loving kiss of the wind on Lake Li. Give me an outhouse in the rain - anything but that wretched smell that only men can bring to their own nature.

FU

Sir, some one comes. We should dress.

LI

Not for a thousand bolts of silk!

(enter Xin Ch’u and Mao Fei)

(Xin and Mao are very ceremonial and are shocked to see the three naked men outside the tent. They are indignant.)

XIN

What is the meaning of this? How dare you stand watch over his Excellency clad in . . . in . . . (exasperated) in nature only! Please dress at once and tell his Excellency that Xin Ch’u, the Chief Scribe and Mao Fei, his assistant are here to escort him to the Su-chou Ya-men.

(the three men laugh)

MAO

Insolence! You will be on report for this disrespect!

LI

(still laughing, and still naked - putting his arm around Xin Ch’u’s shoulder)

My good sir, be not alarmed.

XIN

How dare you sir!

LI

I dare, because I am "his excellency" - Li K’ai-men!

(the 2 clerks bow quickly - Xin bowing direct at eye level to Li’s crotch)

XIN

Forgive me my lord. (turns his head quickly away) How was I to know?

LI

How indeed? After all, if an Imperial superintendent was better endowed than most men, you might tell that way - but, then my friend Fu Lin-t’o here could be "his excellency: - or even, I might venture to say, my man-servant - K’u Ko-ling.

NARR

O, your are most generous, my master (laughing).

LI

The lower classes are often hung like horses. Or you might have been able to tell if it were written across my forehead or on my ass. So I say, when the apparel which categorizes our station is removed and all stand naked in the mist - identification and classification cannot be easily assumed. We must depend on other clues - mustn’t we?

XIN

I did not expect this, my lord.

LI

You must be Xin Ch’u! Well chief clerk, it is hot and humid - and deathly oppressive - and it looks like rain! And why should a man deny his nature when that nature calls, even in the face of his scholastic learning? So, we stripped to meet the occasion - and you came here as appointed - so nothing is amiss. All is as it should be. Feel free to strip-off and join us if you’d feel better suited to the party. (pause) I thought not. So, lead on to the Ya-men. We’ll greet the Ya-men staff now.

XIN

Might I suggest, my lord, that the clerical staff in the Ya-men may not understand the value of your reasoning and might find your nakedness a bit unsettling for initializing a tone for your new administration. And there’s your wife to consider.

LI

Ah! Mei-lin has arrived? (to Fu) I quite forgot her - I mean, this heat has taken my focus away. You are correct Xin Ch’u. K’u Ko-ling - my robe; and dress yourself as well.

(pause)

And friend Fu, I would take it as a considerable kindness if you doffed attire as well. Besides, it is beginning to rain. (to Xin) Lead on!

(the drum beats again - through the Narrator’s next lines)

(lights out - spot on Narrator)

NARR

And so we finished our little journey by parading through the hot streets of Su-chou in the rain. The entire city was out to see the new superintendent, although some had just learned that morning that the old superintendent was gone! I remember a sea of parasols lining the streets and canals from the northern drum tower to the Ya-men gate. It overwhelmed me at first, but I was easily impressed in those days. I held a parasol over my master’s head as he inspected the Ya-men staff. There must have been two thousand of them - more! The clerk of this - the chief of that - this one and that one.

(drum stops)

Scene 6:

(the Su-chou Ya-men - a corridor between the business halls and the superintendent’s residence. The stage is empty.)

(enter Xin Ch’u and Li K’ai-men followed by K’u Ko-ling, Mao Fei and Fu Lin-t’o follow. Xin Ch’u is acting as a tour guide)

XIN

You will find the staff here very efficient, my lord. You will have nothing to worry about. As you can see, all functions are covered - amply covered. But, indeed, my lord, you must be tired and need some rest. And you must be very anxious to see your wife.

LI

Yes, yes.

(pause)

But these clerks - all these hundreds upon hundreds of clerks. It’s like a beehive.

XIN

They all have their place, my lord. They all have their place. Trust me.

Li:

So many. I see clerks, posterns, runners, drummers, administrative assistants and plenipotentiaries. Xin Ch’u, why are there so many of them? Why?

(Xin Ch’u rolls his eyes back and glances at Mao Fei)

Such a honeycomb of offices and bureaus. My - my - so many. For example, here - what does the Office of Canals do?

XIN

Why my lord, it cares for bridges and locks of His Majesty’s canals.

LI

Ah! Good! But look here, there is also an Office of Bridges and Locks we passed a little while ago. What do they do?

XIN

They also care for the Bridges and Locks, but in a different way.

LI

How different?

(long pause)

Never mind now. We have reached my residence ---

XIN

Which contains the famous Willow Pavilion.

LI

Yes, I have heard a great deal about that place - and Governor K’ang has assured me you have done a good job at its restoration.

XIN

Just in time for your wife’s arrival there.

LI

Pao Ch’in was a man of great taste.

XIN

That he was my lord. He was beloved by all, especially myself and the staff. Rarely have we had such an even-tempered, well-natured superintendent as Pao Ch’in. We pray to heaven that he is at rest among his ancestors and thank heaven that we have been sent a man of your high qualification to carry on in his place, as if Pao Ch’in had never left us. And as you can see we have maintained the place in perfect state.

LI

Perfect state. Yes, a perfect state. We shall talk later, for I do have some questions on protocol.

XIN

Naturally.

Li:

Come, K’u Ko-ling and rejoin your mistress - and Fu Lin-t’o, now come meet my wife.

(lights out.)

Scene 7:

(The Willow Pavilion. There is a pergola in center stage and flowers every where. A small footbridge traverses the lily pond. There are bonsai trees on a wall and various rock formations about the park. Li Mei-lin is discovered as the lights come up. Ch’u Wu-k’o attends her)

CH’U

He is still inspecting the staff in the Ya-men, my lady.

MEI-LIN

At least the rain has stopped. Ch’u, is my hair correct? Am I like a lotus blossom waiting on a pool for my lord to come pluck me!

CH’U

(blushing and laughing) It has been a long time. You must be like a tigress hunting for the last morsel left on the range.

MEI-LIN

But I must look the lotus. Remember, my lord is gentle and bookish. Remember, he would not be married at all if it were not for Han Lin’s insistence that his star pupil could not go to examinations unless he was married. Remember, that I was selected because my brother was my husband’s boon companion at the academy. Remember, our marriage bed lasted only six days before he left for Ch’ang-sha. Remember . . .

CH’U

Remember, remember, remember ---- I say forget it all - be the tigress and pounce on him the minute he comes through that portal!

MEI-LI

Stop this! It has been too long since I have seen him. They say when a husband and wife are parted in the service of His Majesty, may he live ten thousand years, they become estranged and distant. We were but six days together in Gui-lin when he whisked away to the examinations. You would think that we would be allowed to tarry longer - or at least I could have travelled with him to Ch’ang-sha. It seems unfair, were it not that I know my duty and my place. So, Ch’u Wu-ko, it is important that I make a good second impression on this man who is my husband, who has seen little of me in the daylight. Tell me truly, how do I look?

CH’U

Well if I was a love-starved man, who has not had a women in months, I would not stand on ceremony - but dive into that lotus at once!

MEI-LIN

I certainly hope he is love starved.

CH’U

For a woman at least, I say!

(suddenly, they are both demure)

MEI-LIN

Enough!

(sighs)

These things are not to be questioned. You are too observant for you own good - and with your sharp wit and tongue strike me to my very heart. How cruel to refer to that which is but the idle chatter about the kitchen. (aside) But, in my heart, I know it is true. My brother was of this ilk as well and may very well have tasted the rumour first hand.

CH’U

Forgive me, mistress! O, but the master comes.

(enter Li K’ai-men, K’u Ko-ling and Fu Lin-t’o. Li Mei-lin and Ch’u Wu-k’o go to their knees).

MEI-LIN

My lord.

LI

(taking her into his arms)

Mei-lin, sweet angel wife I left behind. Once again we are one and shall never part again. And . . .

(looking around)

this is the Willow Pavilion. The heat is less oppressive here. Such beautiful form is here. Form! Form is more important than the substance. There is no death in the facade of this opulence. Mei-lin, it is here that I will protect you from the outer world of decay and disease. Form! This is the place! And oh how I wish I had some wine.

(claps)

K’u Ko-ling, some wine. See where Pao Ch’in stored the stuff.

(exit K’u)

And this, my pretty wife is a good friend - Fu Lin-t’o - a scholar who has traveled with me from Yang-chou.

FU

(bowing) Mistress, I am at your service. I will be as devoted to you as I am to "his Excellency".

(Mei-lin comes close to Fu - puts her hand on his chin, lifts it up and inspects his face).

MEI-LIN

Such a pretty face for a local scholar. Indeed, such fair skin and thin lips. I welcome you. (to Fu only) Only one tigress in the lair, dear sir; and only one lotus in the pool. (to all) But welcome to our pavilion, Fu Lin-t’o - and enjoy it as if it were your own.

FU

(a bit shaken) Forgive - I will seek out Mao Fei, who is preparing my quarters.

(he bows and exits)

(Mei-lin brings Li to the seat in the Pergola and signals Ch’u Wu-k’o to leave) (Ch’u exits).

LI

And how are my father and grandfather-uncle?

MEI-LIN

Your father still longs for the River life, but your uncle is very well indeed - although he complains of a touch of gout. Your mother’s rich food tickles his palette - and he grows fat with age.

LI

Indeed. Oh, where is that scamp K’u Ko-ling and the wine.

NARR

Sorry - I searched the house for the wine and couldn’t find a drop. So I was quickly negotiating some vintage outside the Ya-men walls in the local market.

MEI-LIN

The wine will keep my lord. You look so worn out my lord, and this robe looks too heavy for such weather.

LI

It was a long journey and the heat here - well, I can’t take this off yet. I have nothing on underneath - and I expect a visit from Xin Ch’u before we can retire.

MEI-LIN

Xin Ch’u is a pompous ass.

LI

Dear wife, we cannot be rash yet and judge a man without evaluating his actions. But I will say, there is an accounting needed before I can start my duties here - and I mean to have that accounting.

MEI-LIN

And must it be this evening?

LI

Indeed, it must. We can sleep late in the morning. Afterall, who rules here now?

MEI-LIN

Why you do my lord. To think I am the mistress of Su-chou - a pleasant beginning and in this pavilion how can there be anything but happiness. And you shall have a posterity reknown - and son before long.

LI

You don’t mean to say . . .

MEI-LIN

No, no. But we shall work on that now.

LI

Hmmm. To have a son - think on it. And he will be a regular academician, I’ll warrant. He’ll turn an eight-legged essay like no other and be like his father, first in the exams.

(enter K’u Ko-ling with the wine and two cups)

Ah, the wine.

K’U

Not Pao Chin’s. Couldn’t find any of Pao Ch’in’s. Needed to negotiate outside the Ya-men in the marketplace.

LI

Curious? Very well.

(enter Xin Ch’u)

Ah, Xin Ch’u.

(Mei-lin withdraws upstage, while K’u retires to a corner)

I did want a word with you before I retired for the evening. Have a seat - and some wine?

XIN

Thank you, my lord.

(K’u pours some wine for both and retreats to a corner)

LI

Now, please advise me, as I am not familiar with how Pao Ch’in went about daily business. In general, what has been the case?

XIN

In general, Pao Ch’in would review law cases on two days a week and pass sentences on a third. The first and last days were generally adhered to; however, my lord can choose which days. There were important decisions to attend to at least once a month. I would present Pao Ch’in with these on a predetermined morning. He would meet with my staff to hear us and settle any little disagreements. In this way, the memorials to the court and the tax records could be kept in order without too many problems. Efficiency reigns here. Occasionally, there would be other matters for the superintendent to decide. Most matters however run themselves quite well. You will see. Your intervention will be required only when necessary. We never bother you needlessly.

LI

Sounds efficient!

XIN

Most efficient!

LI

But I do have a number of questions, if you don’t mind.

XIN

My lord, all your questions will be answered with great punctuality. We have all the answers here.

LI

All the answers? But you never answered the question I had regarding the size of the Ya-men’s clerical staff.

XIN

Oh my lord, if you knew the amount of work, you would endorse our staff numbers. In fact, you would probably have pity on our shortages and bring more staff on.

LI:

If Pao Ch’in asked such a question, how would you have answered him?

XIN

The same way, my lord, only . . .

LI

Only, what?

XIN

. . .only he would have never thought to ask it.

LI

Hmm. Drink your wine. It’s good wine, from the marketplace - earthy wine has no better place but in the belly of earthy men. Now, do not be offended. All my questions will not be as hard. In fact, I just would like to inquire about a flood near Lake T’ai which I encountered as we traveled from Yang-chou. The town in question is Lin-t’ien.

XIN

I know Lin-t’ien.

LI

Did you know it was under water?

(Xin Ch’u obviously didn’t know. Pause)

And, is there disease in Su-chou?

XIN

My lord, there’s disease in every city. But yes, we have had a bad bout of the sweating sickness in the western wards. It is a hellish thing, you know. It begins with heavy perspiration, then the poor victims cannot swallow. They puff up, fall delirious and are almost always certain to die. Only burning the bodies contains it.

LI

Have we no doctors on our staff? Men who know the ways of this illness and the herbs to cure it?

(pause)

And what of this brigand - Ch’ien Mu! I have seen the results of his activity. How did Pao Ch’in handle brigandage? How did he account for the loss of rice in the tax reports?"

(pause)

(angrily) Xin Ch’u, I mean to have an answer.

XIN

Pao Ch’in left me to deal with the brigands, and I must say I have not been successful at it. As far as the rice loss, we were able to extract enough rice from the stricken districts; so there was no real loss in tax collection.

(Li stands angrily)

LI

You mean, you left these districts starving and destitute. First the brigands, then the tax collector. Don’t you know your history? The fastest way to make more brigands is to make the people hungry!

(Xin Ch’u is visibly shaken - he goes to his knees, but Li raises him and hands the wine goblet)

Finish your wine. Here are my desires in these matters. I will work every day, not twice a week. I am an early riser. You and members of your staff will meet me at dawn every day to review all administrative activities. My court will be in session every morning at the fifth watch. All cases will be reviewed by me. Once a week, I will receive the village elder or the entire Pao-t’ien of each prefecture. They will come to know me; and I will come to know them. My friend Fu Lin-t’o will assist in this. As for the sickness in the city, hire doctors immediately. I will review their posting . . . and all posts in the future. As for Ch’ien Mu, the bandit, send me the captain of the city garrison tomorrow morning. I shall handle it. You and I shall become a good team working for the good of our sovereign lord, His Majesty, may he live ten thousand years. The value of that service however will be in my estimation. I am accountable. All those who work here are accountable. Are we clear?

(Xin Ch’u bows curtly and turns to leave)

Oh, one more item, Xin Ch’u. Did you enjoy the wine?

XIN

Yes, my lord. So good of you to ask.

LI

It was from the marketplace, as you well know as Pao Ch’in seems to have kept no wine in the residence. But, do you realize that it was served in Pao Ch’in’s wine cups. Now I ask myself, why would a man who keeps such beautiful wine cups, not keep any wine?

(Xin Ch’u shakes and falls to his knees)

LI

Xin Ch’u, I do not mean to be a tyrant. I am a gentle soul from simple roots; however, I will not have two offices for Bridges and Canals and yet have villages under water because we cannot contain a brigand; nor will I have excess in my Ya-men. I will sell every trinket in these walls rather than have whole districts laid waste due to my poor administration. We begin tomorrow with a review of your immediate staff.

XIN

(weeping profusely) I am an old man, my lord. I have served five superintendents well . . .I mean to leave my little household a bit better for my life long work. Tell me I have nothing to fear from you. I have served this Ya-men well . . . five superintendents! I have served.

LI

And you will serve me well.

(helping him up)

Dry your eyes. I will never bring harm to you . . . if you do not give cause for that harm. I know what you have, you deserve; however, there are others who would not be as understanding as I am. I can evoke precedent for any action. Do tell the others. Tell Mao Fei and the others. Please dry your eyes. Don’t weep on my account.

XIN

My lord. I will tell the others of your kindness and well meaning plans. I know you will allow me my little store . . . my life-long deserves . . .

(exits weeping)

(Li sadly returns to his seat and begins to sigh - then gentle weep. Li Mei-lin comes and sits beside him)

MEI-LIN

My lord, you are weeping - and on a day where we should be most joyous.

LI

Dear wife, comfort me. I have passed the bounds of decency with those who need my trust. I have used Xin Ch’u poorly to assure he keeps in step with me. He has been robbing this Ya-men blind. But is it his fault? He is the great stream of administration here - and now, dear wife, I have made him doubt himself.

MEI-LI

As well he should.

LI

I have changed him from a man of dignity to a man clinging to the last vestiges of his life-long due. What kind of a man does such a thing to other men for whatever goal? Beneath that pompous clerical demeanor there’s a tired old hack, grizzled by the security of his station and with a little . . .or I daresay, a considerable larder of whatever sticks to his hands in transactions. So, my first step was a needful one - but how it tortures me to bring another soul down.

(Li weeps on Mei-lin’s shoulder)

MEI-LIN

You are a man of virtue, my lord. You may have injured the man; but, you will be helping the people of this city. Perhaps you should make a small amend to Xin Ch’u.

LI

Amend?

MEI-LIN

Think of something that will give him some honor?

LI

(thinks)

He shall come to the residence for a dinner in his honor! That shall be a precedent - and K’u Ko-ling can arrange it all.

MEI-LI

And I will sing a song to soothe his aging bones . . .

LI

And I will write a poem to his credit . . . and we will find a rare gift.

MEI-LIN

To add to his life-long store.

LI

Oh wife, I will never use a man as I have used this one again, even though I have set a precedent.

(long pause)

MEI-LI

And so to bed, my lord.

LI

Yes, and so to bed. I will join you in a moment.

(they embrace. Mei-lin exits stage left. Fu Lin-t’o enters stage right and stands behind Li K’ai-men. Li stands - they embrace. As they embrace, Li’s robe fall to the ground leaving him naked in the embrace)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

End Act One

NARR

And so to bed!

(laughs loudly)

(blackout)

 

 

continue